Time Wasted Cleaning

The other day I was pondering cleaning and the time it takes out of my life. What started this particular thought pattern was this: my retired neighbours smug look as I moved my lawn (as if to suggest, "It's about time, lazy").  I would like to point out, the single girl gets an unfair deal in the world of chores and cleaning. 

Dear Mr & Mrs  Neighbor: 

I notice that Hubby mows the lawn, collects and takes out the garbage all while the little Missus makes food, cleans / dusts / launders ect. I will have it pointed out that the single girl does it all herself. All that and the kitty litter box. While working full time to keep ownership of the yard she has neglected to mow (much to your disapproval).Also while taking 8 hour breaks to hit Mr Job up for a paycheck.

Love, Me.

As I was toiling in the yard and home (expecting company, so MUST clean because Lord knows-can't have people KNOWING the state of my house at any normal given day) I was composing in my head some time saving measures that, not only made me smile but also, could in some cases work. 

So without further ado, I present:

 "Tracy's Top Ways To Cut Down On Cleaning Time: As the single girl needs more time to pursue other interests."

(a long-ish title but pertinent just the same)

1. Dishes: drink from the bottle, eat from the pot. Cut out the middle man.

2. Laundry: 3 terms: drip dry, commando & Flip flops.

3. Sweeping the kitchen: get a dog. I recommend a pug.

4. Pet hair on furniture: flip method. Leave the couch cushions right side up until company is coming-then flip. **Don't forget to flip back when they leave!

5. Cleaning the shower: Easy, do it while showering. Eliminates both a) getting drips of water up your arm and into your shirt while cleaning over your head (I hate that) and b) the need to shower after cleaning. BTW, excellent rinsing with out getting splashed (as you are already wet).

6. Cleaning the sink: brush your teeth in the shower. Dudes, grow a beard.

7. Cleaning the toilet: 2 words. Public washrooms.

8. Cleaning the fridge: Easy, develop a interest in science. Seriously, we all know how penacilan was invented right?

9. Cleaning Cupboards: Why do this? They have doors, outta sight / outta mind.

10. Dusting: Get a bigger fan. Duh.

11. Mopping: Wet slippers. Guaranteed to get the high traffic areas and can resemble a slip and slide.

12. Mowing the lawn: let it get long enough to hide a budding Eco-system and Green Peace will declare it a protected area! Maybe coax a Greibe to take up habitation.

Neighbors will love what it adds to the neighborhood.

13. Making the bed: Over sized sheets. Tuck them waaaay in under your mattress on all sides, you may not be able to move while sleeping but you can pretend you are getting into the General Lee at bed time.

14. Vacuuming: Keep curtains closed - what you don't see can't hurt you.

15. Cleaning windows: See number 14. 

There we have it - rules to live by! Single ladies are free to dance, sing, read or let's face it, sleep! Never to forget the pearls of Wisdom "It is said that hard work never killed anyone, but why give it the chance?