Tis the season for warm tidings and well wishing... But have you noticed that much of the sentiments are rather repetitive and generic? "May you have a joyous holiday season." or "May you have a Merry Christmas and a happy new year." Nice thought but hardly practical and rarely sincear.
I've come up with some more grounded, realistic seasonal tidings most of us can relate to. Since most seem to start with "May you" that is how I will format my little list.
May you / your:
May you have a block heater and proper length of outdoor extention cord.
May you have the snow in your driveway be the light powdery kind while the type in your yard is the denser snowball packin type.
May your car always start at 10pm after it's been sitting in a parking lot for 8 hours.
In addition; should the situation call for it, may you have jumper cables and a running vehicle attached to the other end.
May you not have the snow plow push SH!T into your driveway after you finish shoveling the darn thing.
May you have fuzzy gloves, dry boots and a thick winter coat.
And a toque, and snow pants, and ear muffs, and chap stick...
May you nOT have to enter a Walmart on the 24th.
May you rejoice as the line at Future Shop on boxing day is short.
May you have good winter tires.
If not then BCAA and let there be no cement barriers in the impending snow bank.
May you remember to always grab a cart. Seriously, just grab a damn cart (you know you will need it).
May you be safe in the knowledge that the Santa that has been watching you all year lives at the North Pole and not across the road.
May you not do irreconcilable damage to a retail employee because the stress of this joyous season is breaking your mind.
Alternatively, may you not need to because s/he is chatting to the person 3 people ahead of you about a boy/girlfriend, meanwhile scanning the purchases at a rate of 1 minute.
May you not forget the cranberry sauce.
May you fill up with the feeling that you had at age 4 when you light up the Christmas tree.
Also, may the needles stay ON your tree till Jan 2nd.
That concludes my list, maybe a few less people will talk like 50 cent Christmas cards this year.
Your welcome.
Most of those are Winter Sentiments... I'd like to focus on Christmas. Things like
ReplyDelete"May your inlaws dish you one less helping of Crazy then last year"
or
"May your kitten not destroy your favorite Christmas bulb. Scratch that. Your Christmas tree."
"May your colicy newborn sleep through the night, at least once over your Christmas vacation from work"
"May you Hydro bill be small despite your house looking like a light house beacon"
Oh! And! This post was the best way to start my day off with a smile!
ReplyDeleteI less than three you Tracy.
Awesome, love and agree with your additions!
ReplyDelete