On Listening.

Just something I was pondering today and since this is my blog, existing to purge my brain of its randomness-I shall vomit up my opinion. There is a huge difference between listening and hearing. Seems people have problem differentiating. If you don’t know the difference, maybe the following conversational types can give you a hint:

I cant wait for you to stop talking because I have something better to say and not only is it more interesting, it’s about me. 

I pulled this statement out of a joke e-mail I got a while ago but it ceased to be funny after I noticed so many people doing it.

Sure sure, me telling a story might inspire you to share a similar opinion or experience but have some courtesy. Maybe I am telling you something important to me-let me tell it.  This goes both ways, after I have told it, I need to listen. My favourite tactic is for someone to signal they have input or say something like “Remind me I have a story when you’re done”. By Jove I shall! For this is an exquisite sharing of thought!

Interrupting Cow. 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting cow wh… MOO.

Bad school yard joke but it seems to apply and is one worse over “Can’t wait for you to stop talking”. It features the speaker getting cut off mid-sentence, for the other to talk. One thing to interject statements demonstrating you either agree or disagree (shows you’re paying attention and that’s nice) but it’s something else to cut the person off or talk over them. Even in a discussion where the topic is meant to go back and forth, let the person finish their thought before contributing. Nothing says “I don’t give a flying fuck about your opinion” like not letting them finish a thought.

Over-Talker: 

Someone who seems to need to talk while you are talking but just talks LOUDER.  An even ruder Interrupting cow, if you will.

Ghost in a room. 

Say something relevant to a conversation and get no response but then someone else will say the exact thing and will get recognition. Is it that I am not talking LOUD enough? Is it that you just don’t respect my opinion and choose to tune me out? Ouch to the second.  Ghosts, in my opinion, will either clam up and quit talking or become an over-talker in desperation to be heard.

One way mirror. 

How fun is a conversation when it is constantly about the other person. You listen. And listen. You bring up something relevant to you and get an ‘interrupting cow’ back in your face.  Having someone who listens is a privilege and can be abused.  How many of you does it take to change a light bulb? One. You hold it and let the world revolve around you.

One upper. 

No matter how relevant your story-theirs is more so. No matter how dire your situation-theirs is more so. No matter how interesting your anecdote is-theirs is more so. No matter how witty your adage-theirs is more so. No matter how informative your conversation is-theirs is more so. Note: one-uppers use ‘actually’, ‘essentially’ and ‘as a matter of fact’ A LOT. Not to be confused with a pompous ass.

Pompous Ass: 

Worst. These are people who will inform you that you are, in fact, wrong. There is a special ring of hell reserved for you my friend-in my mind at least. Opinions can’t be wrong, they’re opinions. FYI: Opinion: A view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. Fact: A thing that is indisputably the case, can be proven.

Dear Pompous Ass and One-Upper.

We all understand you think you are just SO much cleverer and smarter than the rest of us. But remember, Smartie threw a party and NOBODY CAME.

Love, Me.

PS: Doesn't mean you are.

I’m not lecturing anyone or swearing innocence myself but awareness amazes. When something is brought to your attention, at times, it’s enough to change a habit. We all want to be heard, we all need relevance and sometimes when those things are missing-people go to a bad place.

Just sayin’